Let’s Get Playful

It’s the key to pleasure in the bedroom.

Words by Sophia Lacy | Photo Paige Minor

We’ve all seen it in the movies. The eye contact, flirty build-up, sensual physical touch — all of this is foreplay. It’s the time before sexual intercourse where tensions are high and you and your partner are building the desire for sex.

Caroline B. Landen, the executive clinical manager at Awakenings Counseling, explains that foreplay is the stepping-off point for sex. It’s the warming up for what’s to come. Before sex, a little bit of play is an essential component of bedroom pleasure.

What does it look like?

It can be a wide range of things and it’s different for everyone. Azaria Menezes, sex and intimacy coach, says foreplay takes many forms and isn’t limited to just a specific activity or space.

“It can be anything from eye contact and gentle touch, to texting and sharing excitement for each other,” Menezes says.

How do you do it?

Since there isn’t a one-size-fits-all way of foreplay, it’s up to you and your partner. Communicating with one another and discussing boundaries, as well as consent, can help the act get going. Women actually need more of a connection than men before sex.

“Since [a woman’s brain] is the sexual organ, she needs to be having positive sexual thoughts and be in a place where she is feeling connected to her partner,” Landen says. Working together to understand each other’s comfort abilities is the starting point to successful foreplay.

After discussing, let the playing commence. A few minutes may be all you need to get your body and mind in the mood. Menezes shares foreplay can be five minutes, all day, or even a whole week, depending on the person.

“There’s no time restriction on how long foreplay should be,” Menezes says. “The key factor is understanding when your body is ready for sex.”

Foreplay can make sex more fun and build stronger connections between you and your partner. The next time you’re in the mood, work with your partner for a better sexual experience.

“Foreplay can make or break a sexual experience,” Landen says. “It is the action and excitement that runs a golden thread throughout a relationship.”

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