Elyssa Yesnes


Spring Thaw

Everyone. It’s the middle of March, and you’re wearing flip-flops. Yes, it’s been nice out lately, but that doesn’t mean we’ve skipped ahead to the hottest days of summer. Do people not look at the forecasts in the morning? Is that just an old person thing to do? Am I really a crotchety 84-year-old woman? Very possible.


Kitten Karma

FOUND GREY KITTEN. Kitten found in the Drake Area. Female. About 2-9 months old. She meows a lot and is a lover.


Repressed Elementary: Revisited

LIVE FROM HOPKINS, IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT! | Even to this day, more than 10 years later; Friday Night Live is synonymous with that girl stripping. When she walked across the stage at graduation, the person next to me leaned over and said, “That’s who stripped in fifth grade, right?”


Procrast – and Do it Later.

It seems like I will do anything to avoid doing homework. I will do push-ups, I will clean my room, and I’ll even Facebook creep people I went to junior high with.. Sometimes, I even find myself doing nothing – Literally, nothing.


Pass the Earplugs

TOP 5 WORST NOISES | It’s hard to control, but I can’t stand squeaking shoes from rain. Every step translates into a cringe for me. I wish it was socially acceptable for a person to tap the squeaker on the shoulder and say, “You really should dry those shoes off. It’s a safety concern—but more so, it’s horribly distracting and I can’t hear myself think.”


She’s a super freak

SOME ODDITIES FROM AN ODD GIRL | People have certain ticks to them. You think people are fairly normal, when suddenly their unusual habbits start to come out. You scratch your head and realize that this so-called buddy of yours has some bizarre quirks to them. And in full disclosure, here are three of mine off the top of my head.



READ THIS, AND EXTEND FRESHMAN YEAR | How many conversations do you overhear with the phrase, “Ohhh, freshman year.” Or, “I did that all the time as a freshman.” Well, cheer up, because I have a series of tips on how to relive your freshman year.


Don’t Text Me That

NO, I AM NOT “LAUGHING OUT LOUD.” | LOL: People, listen up. With all the texts I have been getting lately, it seems like you haven’t been listening. For some reason—and I can’t help it—whenever I get a text that has “LOL” in it, I immediately feel irritated. Are you really laughing at what I said? Are you laughing at yourself? Are you filling space in this text because you feel uncomfortable? Urgh.


Naked Mile

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN | This one could get me arrested. I’m just going to be honest with you. Runners are weird.