And what to do with them when they’re in the air
Watching awkward white people try to dance (read: bob their heads and shake their butts) is one of the most time-consuming things in the world. And you won’t be able to stop watching. You’ll leave the venue, head hanging low, wallet emptier than when you came, wondering how you missed your five favorite songs from the metal band that just finished its second encore. All while your eyes were glued to the long-haired headbanger who kept throwing up gang-sign-like hand gestures. Sad day. Unless you’re writing a music blog for a snarky college mag—like me.
My ears are still ringing from Coheed and Cambria’s stinging bass riffs, and my eyes are spotting from the magician-like light show. But I did it all to bring you the most important information you’ll need to know before attending a rock show: the appropriate things to do with your hands. Don’t worry, you’ll thank me the next time you find yourself in a loud venue while you’re getting your awkward white-girl booty shake on. And make sure to read more on the actual music part of the show and bits from my interview with the band in the Spring 2013 print issue of Drake Magazine.
The Fist (with a special guest appearance from The Frantic Grab)
This hand is as hard as the rock that dude’s listening to. It’s the perfect move for a rock show noob. Our friend “The Frantic Grab” makes an appearance on the right—not to be confused with “The Falling Crowd Surfer.”
(Double) Rock Hands
If all else fails, throw those horns to the sky.
The Jesus Reach
Hey, live music is a religious experience. Some people just don’t know how to keep it in their pants.
Great for keeping tempo and faux-drumming. But only pull this one out if you’re sure you can keep the beat.
The Double Point
Your inner monologue should go something like this: “You da man, (insert lead vocalist/guitarist’s name here).” Always solid.
The Angry Bird
Not recommended—watch your hand form, friends. You don’t want that pierced dude behind you getting the wrong idea.
The Hand Gun
“Get a load of this guy.” Usually used in reference to another booty-shaking hand gesturer.
Jazz Hand Gone Wrong
Optical illusion or the beginning of a rock hand evolution? We don’t know. Better to steer clear of any body part that looks like this.