Welcome Back! I hope everyone enjoyed his or her breaks, but now it’s back to the grindstone and back to reading my weekly blog. Write it in your planners. I spent my lovely three hour-plus drive back to campus brainstorming ways to entertain you guys. So here we go.
Actually, that is the perfect transition. “Here We Go.” Did you remember that this is the actual title to an N*Sync song? I didn’t either until I put a mystery CD into the player, and all of the sudden, “Here We Go” blasted in my car. And to my absolute surprise, I knew EVERY SINGLE WORD. I am not sure what came over me, but I grabbed my iPhone to use as a microphone and began jamming out. Not super safe—but by the third time I pressed replay, I got the hand movements down pat while my knees did the driving. Anyway, it got me thinking about the ‘90s, the era I was born in. A common conversation I overhear a lot is, “Man, the ‘90s were so chill.” Try to not get too hung up on the “chill.” But you get the picture. People think today that the ’90s were rad. And to be honest, they had some good things going for them, but here are two of my gripes about the 1990s.
1. The ‘90s forced many teens, pre-teen and prepubescent girls to pick sides. You weren’t a crip or a blood; you were a Backstreet Girl or an N*Sync Girl. Overlap was not an option, and as you can see above, I was all about N*Sync. At my elementary school, there were actual areas where you were supposed to stand if you liked one or the other. I don’t know how many fights broke out on the swings because someone found out that I thought Joey Fatone was hot. Sorry, I thought his jokester demeanor and baggy jeans were attractive.
2. It was a real rough decade for men’s hair. And that is an understatement. Looking back, I am grateful that I thought boys had cooties still in the ‘90s. Here’s a flashback if you don’t remember: Two words, one Latin sensation—Ricky Martin. His hair was brushed forward and then the front was spiked up? Only Ricky could pull that one off. How about frosted tips? If you saw someone like that at the bars now, it would scream douchebag to you before it could buy you a drink. Also, mullets. Uncle Jesse tried to pull a feathered one off, but it just looked like an animal was spending the night on top of his head. And my absolute favorite—how could I forget rat-tails?! Yes, rat-tails were a thing—a terrible, horrible thing. Whoever invented them must just laugh and laugh at whoever followed their example.
While these were some unfortunate setbacks of the decade when most of us grew up, don’t fret. Tommy Pickles never really grew up, so you
don’t have to either. (Rugrats All Grown Up does not count.)