Guys, I’m about to become your new best friend. I’m about to let you in on a secret that will change your luck with women.
Are you ready? Here it is.
You don’t look sexy in that fedora.
I know that sounds harsh, but I promise I’m trying to help. Before you went out tonight, you donned that pinstriped hat with the feather accent, hoping you’d look like an R&B star or maybe like that guy from “White Collar.” You were certain beautiful girls would flock to your side, each one hoping to be the Ingrid Bergman to your Humphrey Bogart.
So, why does it seem like there’s a consistent 10-foot radius between you and the nearest female? Blame it on the hat: A fedora is an inanimate cock blocker. (And you thought your roommates were bad!)
via theanimereality.com
It’s okay. We all make fashion mistakes. Unfortunately, a fedora can cripple your chance for romance. Most of us women are automatically wary of any man in a fedora. They are an instant tip-off that 1) You actually went out of your way to buy that hat, 2) You’re a jerk, or 3) You are creepy.
Don’t believe me?
I have met a lot of fedora-wearers in my time, and 99.9% them have been creepy. It’s like fedoras have this mystical quality that turns normal, nice guys into tactless idiots – bad pickup lines and awkward gawking included.
Peer deep into your past. What did that one show-off kid wear to the prom? You remember – it was a fedora – white with a red ribbon accent, and perfectly matched to his pimp cane.
That is what girls will recall when they see your fedora. Do you want them to associate you with that kid, not to mention with their high school prom? I don’t think so. You may be the nicest guy they’ve ever met, but they’re going to be wary of you until you take that hat off.
“This doesn’t make sense!” you cry, outraged that I should suggest such a thing. “Girls like a well-dressed man!” But guys, it’s not the middle of the 20th century anymore. You can’t just pair a fedora with your Abercrombie and Fitch polo and Ray-Bans expecting to look like you’re straight out of a film noir.
Now, please put that fedora down. Let it go. Stash it away for next Halloween, relegate it to the depths of your closet, or pawn it off on the nearest 1920s-era gangster.
Your ego – and your love life – will thank you for it.