Our generation is full of camera-whores.
It started with snapping pictures in the mirror flashing the infamous peace sign, then evolved to impromptu photo-shoots in scenic locations, and eventually led to the never-ending reel of MacBook PhotoBooth shots—because everyone wants to see you with your arms up in front of a fake roller coaster. In an age obsessed with social media, we are desperate to accumulate as many comments and likes as possible on our Facebook prof pics.
Sitting behind a computer screen lost its novelty quickly, so everyone armed with a digital camera wandered out into the world, ready to be creative. And so, we decided to lie down. On top of things. And take pictures of it.
Planking, the act of laying horizontally on top of things, originated in England in 2000 and was initially called “the lying down game”—a more appropriate name, in my opinion. The trend exploded when famous Australian rugby player David “Wolfman” Williams celebrated scoring by…lying on the ground. Clearly, he could barely contain his excitement.
With the help of Facebook, the trend spread overseas like wildfire, even across generations. Plankers took to the streets, daringly lying upon everything from innocent park benches to certainly uncomfortable street signs. Avid plankers have convinced—or perhaps forced—their toddlers, grandmas, and even pets to join in on the bizarre craze.
Ah, but our creativity cannot be confined by simply planking. For a twist on the classic pose, try leisure diving—jumping into a pool and striking a ‘leisure-pose’ in mid-air—or owling—perching or crouching in peculiar locations—or, if you’re a risk-taker, batmanning—hanging by your feet upside-down. But don’t be surprised if people look at you with raised eyebrows like you’re kind of an idiot. You kind of are.
These trends are really very unsanitary. In any normal circumstance you wouldn’t willingly lay facedown in strange locations for fear of getting dirty. All of a sudden, putting your face in the ground is fully acceptable, even encouraged? You could be on top of an old piece of gum or a homeless guy’s piss.
The more popularity planking and owling gain, the less entertainment value each photo has. In fact, the only mildly funny planking pictures are those in risky locations—in the middle of the street, on top of a lamppost, between two buildings. Um, in case you didn’t think about it, you could actually get run over by a car or fall. And die. It happened to a 20-year-old planking on a seventh-story balcony in Brisbane, Australia. Was that photo op really worth it?
I get it. I really do. You want to show off your creativity. You want your “planking ftw” Facebook album to have more pictures than your friends’. You want to be just as cool as everybody else with planking pictures.
But, for one second, just think about what you are doing. You are lying. I do that for seven hours every night in my bed. It’s really not that big of a deal.
So, please, get the hell up, and smile for the camera.